Just the Other Day
A big flash appears on my screen. Something got through my pop-up blocker. “Make $3000 – $7000 in a week, no experience necessary!” the ad window on my computer screams at me. I push the “x” in the corner to get rid of it. No such luck.
Crap, time to fix the pop-up blocker.
Aside from the sheer aggravation of pop-up ads, this experience drove home to me an interesting point.
We live in a quick-fix culture.
The charlatans and advertising folks scream at us from all directions: “Use X-brand jeans to look slim and sexy!” “Buy the Y-brand car, and you too can be successful, attractive, and invincible!”
The messages seep into our consciousness every day from our TVs, our radios and computer screens, from magazines on store shelves, from billboards on our way to work…
What a load of hooey!
What They’re Telling You
Did you ever stop to think what these ads are actually telling you? What is the underlying message that’s been permeating our surroundings and invading our homes – as well as our minds – for decades now?
What they’re really saying – the message seeping into our collective subconscious – is: “You’re not attractive enough, not slim or sexy enough, and certainly not successful enough.
You’re simply not enough, period! Don’t you see just how not ok you are?
Don’t you want to fix yourself, finally? ”
Quick and Easy – How Else?
And that’s where the trouble lies – when we want all these things because we’re feeling fundamentally “not ok” with where we are, and who we are, right now in our lives.
And, how else to fix this, than with the next big “quick fix” remedy, be it a pill, a seminar, a book, or a fancy car?
The Price of Being ‘OK’
Problem is, that the price we pay for these quick fixes, far from being just monetary, is the price of our souls, of our self-reliance, our self-esteem, and self-knowing.
By looking outside of ourselves for the magic quick fix to our basic sense of “ok-ness” in ourselves, we’ve become a society of victim-zombies.
We have lost touch with our internal barometer of what’s true for us, of what actions to take, and which activities to pursue. Of WHO and HOW to BE.
All those things we chase after – the perfect job, the perfect mate, the perfect body, and on and on – these are all shadows, all smoke and mirrors.
Did you ever stop to think, to really ask yourself – what is it that you’re really chasing after?
Is it really about looking more attractive (for some definition of “attractive”), or about having more money (where “more” if often still not “enough”? Is it *really* about losing weight or being successful (again, for some definition of “successful”)?
No. What you’re really chasing after is a feeling – inclusion, love, belonging, creativity, expression… ok-ness.
Another Quick Fix? – The Fundamental Mind Shift
What would you do if I were to wave my magic wand and make you be totally, fully, and irrevocably “ok”, just as you are, right now?
No pills, no cars, no schemes. You’re just totally perfect, exactly where you need to be at this moment.
What if you were to really believe this, to truly internalize this feeling? What if you were able to get out of your head, and embrace your deeper knowing – from your belly, from your heart?
Who would you be then? What would be possible…?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Poof!!!
So, how are you different? How does it feel to take back your power?
The Choice is Yours
Here’s the biggest secret of all, and you’ll know it is so as soon as you connect with your truth.
You get to choose what you believe in.
It’s really your choice to believe that there’s something wrong with you or with your life situation. It’s certainly a valid choice, and you can live a full (though perhaps less than happy) life from that belief.
Just know that you chose it.
Try It On
But, what if you were to choose differently?
Why not try on, even if just for a minute, that who you are right at this moment – with unpaid bills, and dirty laundry, and excess body fat, and lots of unfinished business – is just perfect, is exactly where you need to be right now?
What if there’s nowhere to get to, and nothing to fix?
Take a Minute
Take a minute, right now – really – and re-read that last sentence. Sit with it for a moment. Can you take it in?
Sure, there are goals to set and achieve, dreams to dream, and actions to take. But it’s an entirely different experience setting those goals, dreaming those dreams, and taking those actions from a place of fundamental ok-ness, knowing that there is nothing to fix, and there is nothing wrong.
Guess what? You hold that magic wand yourself.
You can “poof” yourself into total “ok-ness” anytime you choose. No matter what the media messages may say to the contrary.
Plant the Seeds:
Three Un-Quick-Fix Steps
Now it’s your turn. Far from a quick fix, here are three simple – though not necessarily quick and easy – steps to getting back in touch with your total ok-ness, your own inner wisdom and knowing.
- Step 1: Minimize the Media Messages
You don’t need to put yourself in the way of all these media messages that tell you just how not ok you are. Don’t get me wrong – it’s entertainment, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But make a conscious choice about what you expose yourself to. Take your power back. (Yes, this can mean turning off the TV, foregoing the magazines, averting your eyes from billboards…. get creative, make it into a game!).
- Step 2: Become Conscious
When you do come across those messages – the ones that tell you that you’re not enough, or not ok, and offer you a quickie external solution – recognize them for what they are. They are not the truth. Become aware of what you’re seeing and hearing, of the impact it has on you.And then – remind yourself that you’re just fine the way you are. In fact, where you are right now is perfect. Make that a mantra, and repeat it often. (Remember – do your own magic wand “poof-ing”! I often like to add a little butt-wiggle dance to mine :)
- Step 3: Start a Daily Practice
This is the most important and direct path you can take to reconnecting with your own inner truth. A daily practice can be as simple as just sitting in quiet meditation for 5 minutes every morning, taking a walk around the block, or setting an intention for your day. It can be writing in your journal, practicing yoga, or paying attention to your breath. In fact, it can be any action (or non-action) at all, done mindfully. The important thing is to do it consistently, mindfully, and with (self) love.